Back To Business

The deals are always out there. The hustle is always upon us. The gifts to share with others are priceless. Back to business, in my many attempts to grow a business I seem to start over. With the urge to do better with the next idea. These ideas come often and usually stay around until the fire dies. Why does this lack of commitment happen I often ask myself, but quickly forget as I am on to the next idea.

Back to business again. Foxtrail Clothing Company. Well that went 30 days and died. But the clothing concept was fire. I swear the ideas were on point. The jacket, joggers and hem tees were going to be a hit. Hold on, how much for the set? Well pricing was going to be $55 for a windbreaker jacket, $30 for the joggers and $15 for the hem tees. Foxtrail clothing was going to be a hit. (Orders bulk from China and sadly found out that large wasn’t a US large.) Instead of sticking with the idea, the passion died. Nothing became of Foxtrail.

Back to business though. Bracelets and Laces. The idea was simple; team the wrist with sneakers. Well I’m a sneakerhead and with a good sense of wrist fashion. Selling laces and adding gold tips. At that time Kanye West sneakers had the gold tips, and it was a hot item. So jumping on that fashionable trend I decided to market bracelets and laces, plus gold and black tips for the laces. Genius. The bracelets were a hit. People bought them and enjoyed that fashion. The laces never had a chance. Feeling that I needed both to consider this a good business, that fire burned out. Bracelets and Laces flamed out.

The ideas to start a business is always the passion. Having setbacks seems to always hit hard and moving on from those ideas instead of working it out is a problem. Once having the success of SoleShoecase and The Epic Sports Show fadeaway I have always in a way tried to get that same passion back. Reviewing sneakers, while podcasting about sports seems to meet my life long dreams. Forgetting how to much I need that hustle back I look to sit-down and write.

The Dyme was suppose to be a weekly podcast about all things basketball. Looking at the clock every Thursday 8pm I’d find myself at the gym or working overtime. The feeling of recording wasn’t driving me. I needed to find that passion again. Time to excuse myself from the excuses of why. Find a way to become the person I’ve always wanted to be.

Back to the business of writing, blogging or I like to say jotting. WordPress on my phone. I find a song and zone out too. Currently Silence – They. on heavy repeat until this post is done. I found my ave and I jot. Tackling ideas with words, writing and writing. The feeling to release. Sadly often these stay in my draft inbox, never shared. But now seems like a good time to put the pen and pad aside and publish Jottersave. Show the world a Mad Jotter. The many thoughts to share. Writers write. It’s random but it’s something you need to read.

The deals are always out there. The hustle is always upon us. The gifts to share with others are priceless. Back to business, in my many attempts to grow a business I seem to start over. Back to the business of sharing thoughts. The Mad Jotter Presents: Something you should read often…


Trump Card

The Trump card is in full effect. Donald Trump has gained political power by saying what the people want to hear. His rise to power was the change people think that want. How did this happen when the media seemed to show nobody wanted Trump to be President? Because President Elect Donald Trump talked to rural America. Those people wanted to be heard and felt no other political heard them. That’s right the Democratic Party ignored them throughout the election. So in many ways Trump was the answer.

180216257-homeless-man-sleeps-under-an-american-flag-blanket-on-a.jpg.CROP.cq5dam_web_1280_1280_jpeg.jpgRural America was and still is the unseen demographic that the media does not seem to talk about. Media outlets talk about and show the racist and uneducated people in rural America. While many of them supported Trump, the media did not highlight the poor Americans that wanted change. Many of those poor Americans live in rural America. Ohio and Michigan have some of the highest poverty cities in America and those two states choice Trump. Why? East Cleveland, Ohio and Benton Harbor, Michigan for example have a property rate over 40%. Who was addressing their needs, wants and desires? Trump emerged as the ideal candidate because he promised jobs and promised to make America great again. It’s not hard to imagine why many came out and voted for him.


Addressing Donald Trump’s promises is what scares those opposing Trump. While media focused on the discriminatory and disrespectful statements Trump made, rural America focused on the promise. To them America was not great and since 2007, when the economic turmoil cost millions to lose their jobs and property, America has not recovered. Jobs were moved overseas, and/or jobs were taken due to the advancement of technology, many Americans felt hopeless. They felt their voice was not heard. So how could the Democratic Party fail? Why aren’t media outlets focusing on reuniting a divided America? So many questions are going to be answered in the next 4 years.

While questions and outrage will continue to happen. Rural America is in a unique position, they believe their concerns will be addressed. What happens if rural America rises and poverty goes down, will Donald Trump continue to usher in a new form of government? Will the Democrats learn how to include rural America next election process? Americans will always want a change for better. As we question his intent;  will President Elect Donald Trump have a positive effect on the economy as a whole and give rural America the answers they want?




Ever since
Slow walking
Heavy breathing
Emotions bask in the glory of…
Train of thought?!?
My trainers thought
My trained thoughts
I Pause
I Reflect
I Surrender
It’s been different
Ever since

Ranting For A Dollar


We are in the mindset to change the past with the present past

The way of thinking is clouded with the thoughts we are worthy


Aren’t we worthy?

Hold on …

We are caught up in the thoughts that we are worthy

And change must happen

The vagueness of our identities are played out on the social stage

We stand for causes that mean nothing to us

We voice concerns to be seen not heard

What is this America?

What has this America become?

Our morals were created

Change is a cycle

We fight for causes $$$

We want change

We sell our cross to bear fame

6 seconds

15 seconds

The price of being worthy

Is set at a price …

How much do you cost?




A time to love. Well more or less a feeling. The hardship of the process of love is the key to building a loving feeling. A disconnection causes issues that normally, normal people don’t overcome. This is a; I deserve nation. Everybody deserves something. But nobody wants to admit that they need to give something. So we are here playing with the idea of love as we define it. No give take, just a take and give me more.
Taking a huge leap of faith here…

I love you…
Shit hold on…

I will show you…

Pen down. Hands held open. I’ll hug you…

Kiss you gently and say I love you …

I’ll give you all of me. I’ll trust you



Visions of you is all I see


I need you …

In a time where love is defined through words. We must find out actions. We must risk our fears, to embrace our wants and needs…


Sell Yourself Short

We are used to selling ourselves short. Never questioning out loud why, but creating reasons why. Not identifying why. Just ensuring its for the better. We sell ourselves short, maybe life wanted it. Maybe we can’t answer that fear conquering question. Maybe it’s all relative to our perception of reality. But it’s a selling point. It’s the worse end of a deal. It’s comfortable, we distain the discomfort. But why? Why can’t we refrain from that urge to be comfortable, and challenge those desires to explore. I implore you to stop selling yourself short and commit to the excellence you once believed in. You can, and you will… 



I want it all. Sitting in the corner of the room and seeing slowly the answers aren’t present. The hustle is taking my will and I’m feeling powerless. The journey of carrying my tired soul has left me longing for more. The desire to have it all. And then it hits me, it’s not all that I want, its the journey. The focus has been missing. The grind was mistaken for hardship. The end goal was never in sight. I was never in view of the path, just in view of the scary scenery. The fear was my drive for mediocrity. I let go of what I thought was false motivation, to embrace pity. I wore it well, it was my calling card. But it felt wrong, the desires I had died, the fear grew. I was not present I became the doubter, the pessimist, the complainer. I needed help, and was I willing to accept the help to grow and become the person I want to be. The spacing, the words and the gamesmanship are all illusions that can become reality when reality isn’t dealt with. 

Let’s finish this book.

I don’t like you nor do I care. I don’t hate you, but I don’t like you. The comfortable level isn’t there, nor will it be. Thus I don’t like you. – Self Pity

My mind races and different possibilities play out in my head, endless thoughts run through my head. Racing to conclusions, and figuring out how this ends with me being right. Clearly the narrative is self sabotaging. Embracing my excellence is a need that can be used as a skill in the workforce. Outside that environment, life begins to play like a movie. People are actors, and the script is written, me watching up close enjoying every angle. Highlighting every key point. Creating the situations for my views of success in the picture. The bigger issue is I’m not present, I’m vaguely involved. Watching the growing process is more exciting than actually being involved. Thus relationships fail because I am not involved. Self pity resides and often suggests that I am not good for this person. The sabotage has occurred. 

The book needs to be well written.

It’s pure science and all opinions. The science in any relationship becomes the ability to interact with another human being. The closeness to create a bond. What drives that both? Well opinions shared often drive a bond. As the conversations are more codependent my mind races to issues that matter most. The switch is turned on as this is silly, not important, combative. I don’t like combative, the words become demonstrative, and it’s not conducive to growth. Well said … Well with that said nothing is said… Nothing is said. And the guilt of nothing said becomes hard to deal with. And then the pity of things not said become another thought of things not said. And it becomes harder to pull dead weight because my partner’s effort doubles. The self doubt stops one from having a scientifically based codependent relationship. Death to any good thing occurs. The relationship ends prematurely because of immaturity. 
Side note: Be codependent in building a relationship. Sharing. Nobody wants a needy person. People do, but this is my story and I don’t. Get your shit together. 

The book needs an author.

Who am I? I’m a cocky damn good writer. I can get better. But this is my thing. My words inspire and stir emotions. It’s great writing if you ask me. That cocky attitude, is very present when I’m in my zone. It’s a feeling of greatness. Like shit, I’m good at writing, I’ll re-read this to find errors. But you’ll follow along. 

Finding myself back to where I don’t enjoy. The connection versus the disconnect. Often this leads to getting dumped, the narrative, it’s self sabotaging. But with this enlightenment thing from actually reading something shifted. It’s not about my feelings placed on her, never did I doubt those feelings. It’s about the feelings I’m not dealing with. What’s best for me? Why hasn’t that dealt with? Presently this corner of the room got a lot bigger. Especially when you turn around and face the room, all that room for improvement. All I’ve been missing about myself. Well good to finally see what’s in this room of mine. Let’s go back to blaming … No let’s deal with it. Am I going to take the fun away? … Yes … But it’s who I am, why take the fun away? … Growth is needed … But growing is fun? … No, this isn’t growing, I’m not facing reality … 

Some aspects I’m very good at facing reality, while relationships are not my cup of tea. Let’s break something else down. The relationship process, growth is a need in any relationship. How growth happens should be an open door policy. Feelings shared people care. Feelings not shared, a lot of drama happens and good TV is created. 

The reality of my fear is that once the fun is gone. The seriousness is held to a higher standard. Like for serious can I not be anymore awesome, dialing it down isn’t something I’d like to be encouraged to do. And that’s the narrative that occurs in each movie. This chick just took fun and hid it. And I’m seeking to find it. Hide and seek. Well in this journey of enlightment, I’m pretty awesome, that self doubt and not knowing what to say, have to be challenged. I want to grow right? Yes and in growth adults talk about shit. Even about the toilet episodes. I need my privacy, peace and quiet… I digress. Love is found in those areas in which I allow that person to help me grow. Conflict not being combative is a form of growth. Saying what I feel is very important, even if I think it makes no sense. Getting comfortable with the discomforts allows me to confront my perceived fears. 

For the book; chapters need titles. 

Girlfriend, what are we in high school? Fuck buddy, hold on I got some feelings invested. Titles, are a common ground for vague conversations. So what are we doing? Well I’m acting as if I’m your man. And you’ll be my favorite lady. That sounds like a deal. Unless it’s not. Very important to get over the fear of titles. It doesn’t mean that person can’t be replaced if a title is given. It just means I’m  serious about growing with said person. Cause replacements can happen, it’s life. The fear of commitment causes one to miss out on the benefits of commitment. Committed sports fan; Blazers, Bengals and Nationals. That same level of commitment and passion can be very successful in a relationship. Like who wouldn’t want to be my number. Come on seriously. Okay it’s a learning process. And adjusting to the learning puts you in a place to commit to excellence. More belief in self. And I’ll believe in others. 

The Book needs sex appeal.

While this is for bedroom eyes only, I am looking to expand my followers. Seriously it’s so important for me to express myself sexually. Now with all that self pity and self doubt in the way, sex wasn’t a place I’d feel comfortable. A desire wasn’t bad. The desire to preform overshadowed the want for passion. But a couple for drinks, a chair and some music. I’m pretty sure that something in my vast mind would create the perfect environment. Hotel rooms … Drops mic, jumping jacks, kart wheel. Anyway, in this while enlightment something learned. I’m scared of the good sex. The passionate sex that leaves you longing for more. The freaky sex, what wanders in my head needs to be out on display. Sharing is caring. I care. Let’s get back to the emotional part of sex. The kissing, the touching, the tasting and the talking I need all that. I need to be more aggressive with my want for that passion. And that’s okay to be as aggressive in displaying that passion. The discomfort of not doing what I long to do, will not be accepted. Layeth the smacketh down on her candy ass… In my rock voice…

The book needs a closing.

All in all. Is that even a good way to end a book.

Well well. 

The End.

This is the script …

To love fear more than life is to die living. You’re not going to product good fruit if you’re not going to focus on yourself.

Words to my wisdom I’m so in this writing. 

When I re-read this tomorrow, I want to think what was I thinking. And damn that’s good stuff. Or think I hope my mom did read the sex part, cause I’m not a virgin! Way to find out…

I love who I have become, I know my fears and I challenge them. I know my strengths. I know what it is I want, and sharing is very important. Because I care enough for you to know how I feel. It’s all about self awareness and creates wins in my life for the kind of growth my kids will see. No, I don’t have kids yet. Trying to get twins, these doctors got this shit down to a science how they make babies. Knowing that the journey is the success is key. Understanding my path to greatness is encouraging, and being more honest with my feelings is something I’m consciously aware of. This is exciting. I wrote it down, in one sitting. I feel good.