Right

It’s back to the drawing board… And smiley faces ensue. The other day runs throughout my mind. What a day indeed, the conflict of the session has me again looking for an exit. But why? Something about being somebody I’m not engages these thoughts of “not again” why this? Something in the way I act and speak is getting me into trouble. I’m not the safe pick, let’s start from there. Why? Let’s answer that why… Again my mind wanders. A couple excusable reasons invade my mind. But one is constant. I don’t want to be. I’m at war with my logic and feelings. This logic is based on social biased views. A man should be this and a woman should be that. Actions speak louder than words. And in a place where my words aren’t relevant, I still look for words to help describe how I feel. I paint books and I write art… It’s so simple… It’s so inviting… It makes so much sense… I don’t want to be that safe pick. These expectations that have floated in my brain slowly ensure conflict. As much as I’d like to embrace your minds view I see a pattern. Something is always gained in growth. Am I not growing? Am I stuck in this moment where what’s expected of me isn’t ideal and I fold under the pressure to become ideal? Are these labels all I see? Excuses invade a feeble mind… Process isn’t met, the wall is in the way. Break-through, I sit and say… I came, I saw, I conquered. Let the rest be… It’s become easy to let go. It’s become too easy to let go… It’s becoming too easy to say goodbye. It’s becoming too easy… Right?

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