Free Writing…

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T.G.K.W read on my right chest, Love Is Absolute reads on my left side rib cage.

Looking in the mirror at these tattoos, boy what a journey. And at these moments I can’t seem to write. I think about the written works that remain hidden in my iPad and reread just to re-inspire. Nothing comes to mind so I start this jot. The Jotter; writes about anything. Life, well about this life I lead. It’s very misleading. It’s very indulging. It’s been very discomforting. Just recently have I begun to see responsibility is easy to abandon, and hard to regain. In my most stubborn moments I’ve let emotions dictate logic. I’ve been childish, and failed to grasp mistakes I’ve made. I don’t like to admit it, but I was wrong. I saw that in the most profound way this week. I let go and did what was right. There is no self pity in any process one chooses to take. One must learn that in order to embrace greatness choices have to been made. Not emotional but logical. Allow yourself to breakdown to your core, understanding that this is where you’ll find value. This is where you’ll make the right decision to progress in life.

Fight for what you believe in.

Love that statement. Nothing worth having is easy. Hate that statement. I don’t even know how that could mean anything good. But back to my love, writing. I believe in what I write. I actually am obsessed with it. Hurt when the critics critique it, looking not to obtain approval but to obtain character. So in my quest to obtain character I’ve actually started reading more. Different genres to obtain perspective, what genre did I want my writing to be labelled. Still struggling with that idea, I’m understanding that people need direction. They will enjoy you when directed. I’m a non-genre writer. Basically a writer without specific categories. In order to obtain character one must choose a path. Just like in life one must choose a path. Creative Writer aka Novelist this seems to be where I fall. Learning that reading is fundamental. My imagination has expanded, something learnt something taught.

Take a look it’s in a book

-Reading Rainbow

Reading books have actually sparked interesting conversations. Debating less, encouraging people to speak more. Actually listening, and allowing for thoughts to be placed in an articulate manner. Maybe in all this reading. I’ve obtain something that my subconscious needs to let be written. With the ability to reread and correct these jots, my portfolio grows. The wise words read:

Am I older or am I learning?

The cold sweats, the heart pounding. The moments I’d hate to admit to I’m admitting to. This change is becoming. The running has stopped, the stand takes place. The learnt behavior to compartmentalize, has placed self doubt outside of self. So doubt is replaced with self conscious confidence. Am I writing to unwind? It helps clear my mind. I’ve made it very hard to love me, and easy to hate me. It’s been calculated. But with all these subtractions, nothing can add up. With a mindset of blame goes to others, excuses create opportunity, and a sorry replaced action. I was not growing as a person. The cycle becomes you. I didn’t want that,
And I don’t want it… Change had to come from within… And once I accepted my faults the actions soon follow… So in this life and art blog I release… If you burn bridges make sure you don’t need to cross it again or you’d better be a hell of a good swimmer… Although we are social beings, not everybody can stay in your life. Cherish those that choose too… Be thankful. And forgive yourself. You’ll ensure peace… I love writing!!! Freely written…

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