Perfect Life

I don’t want to get hurt. So I can’t trust myself with the idea that you might have my best interest at heart. I might act out, push away cause I want perfect. Not saying you’re not perfect but you’re less perfect because you have your ideas of happiness. And honestly I’m not going to meet them. I see this safe bubble I’ll project on you. I want you, too change. Not change in a bad way but change who you are to fit my concerns, if you can’t change I’ll replace you. Granted I know that in my naive mind you could play the role and deceive me and I’ll waste my time. Waiting for the truth to come out, is far better than actually facing the truth head on. But honestly I love you. I need you here. But wait there’s more. Can you be here when I want you? Fit my lifestyle… Great… Hold on I’m scared you’ll actually love me like I deserve it. And it won’t be easy like my mind pictures it, we might actually fight and work things out. I can’t deal with that. I’d rather be safe… Alone and safe… No doubts just regrets…

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