What Can I Say

Let’s start. There’s no need for writers block. It’s all in my head, worded funny, sentences backwards, thoughts incomplete but when it’s time to write. I write! I wrote about my past. What I’ve shared with my lost loved ones. The depression, the departure. My wants, my needs. I bleed to be free. I hear my father… Words and words and words… A Haitian can only talk so much before you smell bullshit. I rant as well, I watch people understand the swings of moods. I challenge any mood. Not a fan of being disappointed I challenge until the boredom is noticed. You challenged me constantly, constantly I laid up wanting more. More and more and more. We run on. You’ve opened my eyes to a world I’ve never seen. And then you hit me. The truth hit me. What can I say? Words I can’t say, pride or fear get in the way. I dream of you, I’ve hurt you, I’ve pushed you away. Stay away. It’s easy for me to place blame on myself and not fix it. I move on. Lessons learned you’ll find better. Found better. It’s a good thing. I’m not in anyway shape or form anything you should have to deal with. Wait for it. I enjoy this moment. The moment of self realization… Good-bye… Now who wants me. The common goal in this hoes tell all, is which story would you believe. Two pills, one shot… What can I say? Sorry is to disingenuous, the game is played endlessly. The hotels, the lady friends. The walk-up, the walk-outs. Which story would you believe. We aren’t here to have sex, I’m not here to see you naked. I fear the connection of committing a one night stand. I stand, you sit. Humor me… Conversations capture my imagination, I create a world in which only I see. Follow me… She’s not a hoe, quickly hours pass… You’ve captured my imagination… What can I say? We aren’t here for sex, we are here to play a very serious game… Two pills, two shots… I fight depression with liquid courage… I care less, I am careless… My commitment issues will be her departure, time wasted… Make hast of the time we had… Two pills, three shots, and it’s only Monday… If the drugs don’t kill me, these pills will… What can I say?…

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