I’ll write

Alright, I’ll write, I’m right, you’re right, I’ll write okay… A wise lady told me; “self guilt isn’t felt by the other person.”
We share other thoughts hoping their sympathy matches our emotion. I doubt very much you’re feeling my pain. But the words help… Honestly why do we care so much about feelings? These ever changing feelings! Mad, sad, glad, love, hate… Wait! They all matter but they all change… The ranges of emotion effect our everyday. Why must I care about your emotions? I’ve got my own to control. It’s greed, it’s also bred in us to care, even when we don’t. It’s bred in us to be humble and not brag in public that you’re life sucks mine doesn’t. But in actions my house is better than your efficiency apartment. My Infiniti is better than your Kia… It’s greed it’s taught to us sometimes without knowing… The subconscious learns habits and behaviors and adjusts accordingly. How could your kind words help me through my financial need… Secretly you’d donate to my cause? Hold on wait you’ll donate to their cause but not mine… Secretly you enjoy my pain. I’m what you don’t want to be. I’m the lesson learned… Right? We are taught to say the right things, while doing nothing at all… I ball, you don’t… It’s cause you’re lazy… I work too hard to be like this, not like that… Can I tell you to your face, no… Then you’re not being humble. But my friends of haves, verbally make fun of the have nots… I know cause I was there. I was the one they talked about. But now I’m the loudest one talking. Did I forget homeless nights in my car at the Walmart parking lot? Did I forget I begged for food? Did I forget the ones with the least helping me out? Did I forget you helped me stay alive? I should be ashamed but I must’ve forgot my struggle… I should feel your pain… Why don’t I? Why do I question your drive? Where is my sympathy? Where has it gone? Secretly I don’t want you to fail… Publicly you’re the reason for comic relief… Why do we care? Cause it makes us look like the hero… Look I’ve done my part to help… Praise me… Take away the greed and all the newly acquired things… It’s self guilt that drives me insane… I wrote…

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